I couldn’t remember where I left off, so I went back and reread the post about my dad’s birthday. We did have a nice evening out — even though I’m pretty sure he was onto me ordering him virgin drinks. Shortly after that, the bottom dropped out for me. Whatever upper respiratory thing I was…

And it feels like this might be the last normal one. The five of us — Matt, Grace, Kathy, Dad, and me — are going out to dinner tonight. I’ve been fighting some upper respiratory bullshit for the past few days, trying to hold it together long enough to make it through the evening. I’m…

This blog started because I needed somewhere to put things. Not to teach. Not to inspire. Not to brand myself. Just to survive my own head. If you’ve read the last 41 entries, you already know this isn’t a highlight reel. It’s a running log of grief, exhaustion, dark humor, tenderness, medical appointments, family chaos,…

A few months ago I started listening to Hidden Brain. Not because I was trying to reinvent myself or do the work — I’ve been doing the work against my will for about five years now — but because I needed something steady in my ears that didn’t involve murder, cults, or politics. It started…

What 2026 Will Bring It’s Monday and the Midwest is doing its cruel thing — yesterday was 50 degrees, today it’s 7. Raw and bitter and deeply rude. I really wanted snow on Christmas. Didn’t get it. But overall, the holidays went really well, and I’m coming off a weekend that was full in the…

Just as I hit publish on my last post, reality walked into my office and reminded me why I do this work. I had written that entry from work, fully expecting to wrap up my day and head out to prime rib dinner. Then a young employee came in — 23 years old — and…

Christmas Magic and the Light Matters Last Thursday turned into an impromptu girls’ Christmas dinner that honestly shouldn’t have worked — but somehow did. Those last-minute plans sometimes surprise you. I got together with Megan, Carrie, and Donna, and before dinner we squeezed in photos with Santa. Yes. The four of us grown women with…

Happy Birthday, Mom Today is my mom’s birthday. She would’ve been 78. And today, my dad pulled a new one on us. This afternoon at work I checked his location like I always do. Something was off — he was somewhere unfamiliar, and Kathy wasn’t with him. My stomach dropped. I called her immediately. She…

Four Years and a Full Day Today is four years since I lost my mom. The death anniversary thing doesn’t usually hit me hard. I’m not really a mark-the-date kind of griever. But I woke up this morning crabby and mad and apparently emotional, which I didn’t fully understand until I was already in it.…

Ten Years and a Colonoscopy Let’s see where I left off. We did the annual pumpkin carving at the Wilsons and it was such a nice day. Aunt Susie made everything cozy and beautiful and delicious — full Hallmark fall spread, because that’s just who she is. She’s also genuinely one of the best cooks…