And it feels like this might be the last normal one. The five of us, Matt, Grace, Kathy, Dad, and me, are going out to dinner tonight. I’ve been fighting some upper respiratory bullshit for the past few days, trying to hold it together long enough to make it through the evening. I’m worried the…

This blog started because I needed somewhere to put things.Not to teach.Not to inspire.Not to brand myself. Just to survive my own head. If you’ve read the last 41 entries, you already know this isn’t a highlight reel. It’s a running log of grief, exhaustion, dark humor, tenderness, medical appointments, family chaos, work stress, joy,…

A few months ago, I started listening to Hidden Brain. Not because I was trying to reinvent myself or “do the work” (I’ve been doing the work against my will for about five years now), but because I needed something steady in my ears that didn’t involve murder, cults, or politics. It started to make…

It’s Monday, coming off a weekend packed with more Christmas. The weather is doing that cruel Midwest thing—yesterday it was 50 degrees, today it’s about 7. Raw. Bitter. I really wish we’d had snow on Christmas, but overall, the holidays went really well. I did make it to the Wilsons’ prime rib dinner—late. Delicious as…

Just as I hit publish on my last post, reality walked into my office and reminded me why I do this work. I had written that entry from work, fully expecting to wrap up my day and head out. Then a young employee came in—23 years old—and everything shifted. He asked what kind of medical…

Last Thursday turned into an impromptu girls’ Christmas dinner, which honestly shouldn’t have worked—but somehow did. Those last-minute plans sometimes surprise you. I got together with Megan, Carrie, and Donna, and before dinner we even squeezed in photos with Santa. Yes. The four of us grown women with Santa. The pictures were ridiculous and perfect.…

Today is my mom’s birthday. She would’ve been 78. And today, my dad pulled a new one on us. This afternoon at work, I checked his location like I always do—though usually not as obsessively when Kathy is home. Thankfully, I did. Something was off. He was somewhere unfamiliar, and Kathy wasn’t with him. My…

Today marks four years since I lost my mom. I don’t usually get hung up on death anniversaries, but I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. Crabby, mad, emotional — the whole cocktail. To be fair, I went to bed annoyed last night. Work has been relentless, like I…

Let’s see… where did I leave off? We had our annual pumpkin carving at the Wilsons, and it was such a nice day. Of course, Aunt Susie made everything cute, cozy, delicious, a full Hallmark-fall spread, because that’s just who she is. And she’s the best cook. Later that night, we went to Rusty and…

Last week I had one of those 11-hour workdays that eats your soul. I got home, dropped everything, and decided the only logical next step was a bath. Just me, the tub, and extra epsom salt. Right as I was about to sink in, Drew called. I figured I’d call him back later, but a…